MORNING MEATHEAD!
You can safely say that Michael Harper is no whiz kid — after the British man put himself in the hospital with third-degree burns by causing an explosion when he urinated on a transformer during a robbery attempt.
Harper and an accomplice had broken into a power plant to steal copper wiring, which they planned to sell in order to buy heroin. But part way through the process, Harper felt a wee bit of urgency and proceeded to relieve himself onto exposed electrical wires — resulting in a fireball that caused disfiguring burns to his privates.
It's safe to assume he's not feeling like number one right about now.
MORNING FUNNY!
REASONS YOUR CAT WILL NEVER BE A YOUTUBE STAR:
Cute kitties doing cute things in videos are a daily meme online. Yours likely won’t be if …
• He’s so fat your cat-carrier was made by ‘Caterpillar’.
• She only seems content when suction-cupped to your car’s rear window.
• She gets ticked off whenever you bother her while she’s taking a break … from having a nap.
• He’s always so blotto-ed on catnip, Charlie Sheen’s cat staged an intervention.
• Doesn’t do funny stunts. In fact, she gets winded purring.
• Oddly, she seems aloof and disinterested at times.
Cute kitties doing cute things in videos are a daily meme online. Yours likely won’t be if …
• He’s so fat your cat-carrier was made by ‘Caterpillar’.
• She only seems content when suction-cupped to your car’s rear window.
• She gets ticked off whenever you bother her while she’s taking a break … from having a nap.
• He’s always so blotto-ed on catnip, Charlie Sheen’s cat staged an intervention.
• Doesn’t do funny stunts. In fact, she gets winded purring.
• Oddly, she seems aloof and disinterested at times.
